Some look like sausages, some look like Space Needles and others are just plain scary. “My toenails have the dreaded fungus,” says Ann Wendell, a 51-year-old consultant from Seattle. “They grow in gnarly shapes and at odd angles like the petrified forest. My daughter is completely afraid of them. If I’m sitting next to her on the sofa without shoes, she’ll go and get a towel and throw it over my feet.” The eyes may be the windows to the soul, but the toes are often the ugly doormat on the back porch that nobody wants company to see. Even celebrities get busted for blisters, bunions, corns, or crusty toenails and podiatrists like Dr. Howard Dinowitz of Brooklyn say unsightly digits are one of his most common patient complaints. What wins top spot in the ugly toe hall of fame? “Hands down, fungus wins for ugly toes,” he says. “Fungus breaks the integrity of the outer lying nail, causing it to yellow, thicken and crumble. I’ve had people come in with fungus nails that have been untreated for 20 or 30 years. We have to use a drill to file them down.” Both resistant and resilient, toenail fungus can affect one nail or all 10 and is usually inherited (thanks Grandpa!). It can also be triggered by trauma, such as dropping a 10-pound can of paint on your toe. “Once you break that keratin layer, the fungus will attack like little Pac-Men,” says Dinowitz. Fungus may be foul but it’s hardly the only thing people hate about their toes. Hammertoes and claw toes are another common complaint among patients, says Dinowitz. Both structural deformities, hammertoes and claw toes cause “knobbing” of the toe knuckles that are both painful and unsightly. “They can make shoes bulge because they just stick up and don’t yield to the pressure,” he says. “They’re like bent knees.” Bunions are another big toe issue (literally and figuratively) and are caused by an inflammation of the big toe joint. Not all complaints are for structural or functional deformities, though, says Dinowitz. Some people just don’t like the way their toes are shaped, particularly young female patients who live for strappy sandals. “A lot of my young female patients will complain about their short fat pug toes,” he says. “And there are some doctors who do ‘toe tucks’-- liposuction to take excessive fat out of short fat stubby toes.” Ode to toes: They sure can come in handy Dinowitz says he doesn’t perform or recommend toe tucks or other cosmetic toe surgery, though. “Your feet are workhorses,” he says. “And any kind of attempt at beautifying the most functional, beat-up part of the body never really works long term.” Does your brother have bunions? Your wife have webbed feet? Tell us about them in the comments. Or better yet, send us pictures of your big (and little) toe complaints!To read more Body Odd posts, click here. You can also find us on Twitter and on Facebook.
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